It’s not just the Fox News crowd, the dead-ender Cornerites and other denizens of wignuttia that are in a panic over the prospect of Barrack-secret terrorist-HUSSEIN-Obama beating John McCain. al-Qaeda is weighing in at this most momentous moment of moments in the history of, and also:
Al-Qaida supporters suggested in a Web site message this week they would welcome a pre-election terror attack on the U.S. as a way to usher in a McCain presidency.
The message, posted Monday on the password-protected al-Hesbah Web site, said if al-Qaida wants to exhaust the United States militarily and economically, “impetuous” Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain is the better choice because he is more likely to continue the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
“This requires presence of an impetuous American leader such as McCain, who pledged to continue the war till the last American soldier,” the message said. “Then, al-Qaida will have to support McCain in the coming elections so that he continues the failing march of his predecessor, Bush.”
Whereas Bush only needed a tape-based boost from bin Laden in 2004, McCain’s flacid campaign is so sub-flatline that it would need something more shocking and awful to reanimate the corpse.
Bin Laden is pacing around his secret hideout in an agitated state:
Bin Laden: And the Palin pick, by Shakira’s Ass Allah, what was McCain thinking?
Henchman: Or what was he thinking with…
Bin Laden: Funny, but no times for jokes, okay?
Henchman: Sorry your eminence.
Bin Laden: But seriously, couldn’t he have picked Cheney again? We love that guy. He packs the joint every time. Box office gold. I’m telling you, the mujahadeen, they recruit themselves when he’s on the mic. But Obama? He’s going to be worse than Ishtar. Isn’t there something we can do?
Henchman: Well, Master Sheikh, we tried planting stories in the African Press International, but only those that lick at the scraped bottom of the deepest barrel have lapped it up. Apparently, the American people want actual “evidence” this time. Who knew?
Bin Laden: Yeah. Weird. What about Operation Waldorf No-storia?
Henchman: Not moving the polls. I told you that name had bad feng shui.
Bin Laden: Even after TPMI broke the story with those fancy flashing alarms?
Henchman: I’m just as incredulous as you are.
Bin Laden: We paid those guys a lot of money you know.
Henchman: Actually sir, just an eight ball and some cheap porn. Furries mostly.
No word yet on when Sean Hannity is going to invite Muhammad Haafid on to make the case, but rumor has it, they’re still in negotiations at this time.