Elena Kagan is not a lesbian, one of her best friends told POLITICO Tuesday night, responding to persistent rumors and innuendo about the Supreme Court nominee’s personal life.

“I’ve known her for most of her adult life and I know she’s straight,” said Sarah Walzer, Kagan’s roommate in law school and a close friend since then. “She dated men when we were in law school, we talked about men — who in our class was cute, who she would like to date, all of those things. She definitely dated when she was in D.C. after law school, when she was in Chicago – and she just didn’t find the right person.”

But, but … she plays softball!  It’s like the more you find out about this woman, the less you know!  Hmm.  Maybe she’s one of those “man-dating lesbians” I heard about that time I listened to Rush Limbaugh with my earmuffs on.  We need some kind of tie-breaker here.  How many cats does she have?

Another friend, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, a member of Kagan’s social circle at Princeton University, wanted to make the same point as Walzer. “I did not go out with her, but other guys did,” he said in an email Tuesday night. “I don’t think it is my place to say more.”

Discretion – your watchword as always, Gentle Sir.  OK, so she was very … active … socially.  But does this alone give us enough of a window into her judicial philosophy?  For example: will she adhere strictly to the original intent of the Founders, or will she just believe whichever lawyer looks most like Richard Dean Anderson?  And how will she fit in with the other members of the court?  It’s a good thing David Souter is retired, because he’s a sensitive boy, and I doubt his mother would leave him unsupervised with a young lady like that.  God, she’d eat him alive.