I gather that the new health care bill does not require insurers to cover Chronic Butthurt Syndrome (CBS):
GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.
“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”
“BAWW,” added the Arizona Senator and former Presidential candidate. “My friends, BAAAAAWWWWWWW.” This is because Democrats used a highly obscure and controversial parliamentary maneuver known as “voting a bill into law,” rather than just having the President issue signing statements as called for in the Constitution. As a result: Adolph Hitler, Stalin, death camps, the collapse of the economy, doctors cruelly whipped with wet noodles, Alan Ginsberg coaching the 8th grade varsity football team, die grandma die, ladies with hairy armpits, Charlie Manson, and the End of the World. Did I leave anything out? Oh, yes, baby killers, faggots and niggers. Naturally.
What have we learned? Well, if democracy is the best system of government ever invented, all other systems of government must involve dipping my testicles into a Fry-O-Lator. Watching laws being made is much like watching your parents make love: psychologically damaging, grotesque, awkward, full of screaming, recriminations, unorthodox maneuvers, cynical and manipulative displays of pantomime passion, and threats to take one’s balls and go home; but the results, while certainly imperfect, are probably worth all the unpleasantness. And why do you suppose God gave you a perfectly good set of eyelids? Use ’em.
Up next: Bride of the Health Care Zombie, and Git Yer Gubbmint Hands Off My Bank Bailout. If you need me, I’ll be in the cough syrup aisle.