Remember how Tom Tancredo went on CNN last week and called Sonia Sotomayor a racist, accusing her falsely of being a member of a “Latino KKK”? Well, if racism so offends him, how does he explain this?

“On July 7, 2007, at approximately 7:15 p.m. at Jefferson and M Street, Northwest, in Washington, D.C., defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complainant, Ms. [REDACTED], who is African-American.The defendant uttered, “Nigger,” as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head.”

That defendant is named Marcus Epstein–a former Tancredo speechwriter who now works as executive director of Tancredo’s political action committee.

Liberal fascists are no doubt spinning this story for political gain without conducting any deeper analysis.  Let us not make this mistake.  First consider these two facts, which put paid to the Democrats simple, politically-motivated narrative:

1. Democrats are the real racists.

2. Racism died with Barack Obama’s election.

After acknowledging these unquestionable facts, we are led to one, unmistakable conclusion: shortly before 1982,  in order to evade ACORN, Richard Pryor replaced himself with an android duplicate, changed his name to “Marcus Epstein”, and went to work combating pedestrian racism through Republican political hackery and martial arts vigilantism.  Strange as it may seem, no other conclusion is possible.  For, as the great Sherlock Holmes observed: “whenever all other possibilities have been ruled out, the improbable, however unlikely, must be the truth”.  And so dies another scurrilous Democrat smear campaign on the gleaming sword of Truth.

In an unrelated story, this is the Republican line of attack against Judge Sotomayor, which, I can’t help noticing, bears some striking similarities to the Republican line of attack against Barack Obama.  Both of these people being, you know, not the sort of person who Sarah Palin would identify as Real Americans, ifyouknowwhatimsayin, andithinkperhapsyoudo.  Now, it’s probably true that if Sotomayor’s views were a bit more in line with Alberto Gonzales’, she would be welcomed into the great Republican Real American melting pot, so perhaps we should consider it progress that these uncoded appeals to White Nationalism appear more opportunistic than sincere.  Further consideration will probably not produce a more hopeful result, so let’s just stop here.