I have officially been rendered quaint.  Quaintified. 

Lo, but a few measly weeks ago, I was left mouth slightly agape at the fact that the GOP was citing the opinions of TV meteorologists as to the science of global warming.  We can certainly quibble as to whether any GOP anti-intellectual ass-hattery should shock anyone at this point, but that one got to me. 

Was it any worse than Jesus riding dinosaurs?  No, but then, it seemed more dangerous in a way, because of its delivery and packaging.  I mean, these are people that appear regularly on the TV, which in America means people of wisdom to be respected.  Harder to dismiss than religious zealotry.

Yet asking TV personalities – whose job it is to recite daily weather patterns, and offer a guess as to the coming week’s highs and lows – what they think about global climate science is just jam-a-spike-through-your-temple levels of stupid.  It crossed a new frontier in terms of mainstreaming Teh Dumb.

Or so I thought.

But we are living in a world that is outpacing me in its back-assward march to nowhere in particular, fast.  Just today I learn that the GOP is turning to Joe the Plumber Reporter Douchebag Economist for advice on what form of economic stimulus would be most efficacious at this most dire of junctures. 

A fucking mediocre, unlicensed plumber has become the GOP’s go-to guy on all matters journalistic and economic – not to mention that little Middle East peace doohickey.  Surely we can expect him to pontificate on climate science to a rapt audience in the near future:

When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week.

Wurzelbacher, who became a household name during the presidential election, will be focusing his talk on the proposed stimulus package. He’s apparently not a fan of the economic rescue package, according to members of the group.

To all my friends/acquaintances/random passers by: you have my express written permission to kill me.  I only ask that you make it quick.  And in that vein, that you attempt the feat without consulting the Dalai Lama for his expert opinion on the deadly arts.