Seeing leading Republican pundits attempt to redefine a possible incidence of child molestation as a mere “sexual affair” might shock the consciences of some well-meaning, if misguided, Americans.  But what the easily rattled don’t understand is that reclaiming the virtues of man-on-child sex is essential to the defense of The Homeland.  Loyal readers know that we here at The Institute have been sounding the alarm about the terrible toll that so-called “child protection” laws are taking on the Republican Party (48 officials cut down over charges related to what should be innocent trysts). 

This is a crisis.  Since the Republican Party is the lone remaining sentry guarding our traditional family values, everyman authenticism, joe-six-pack genuinity and other assorted patriotic kitsch from the sexually depraved hordes of the slutty gay moslems that lust to desecrate our woman (adult) and other bodily fluid-type unmentionables (adult, again), we must reclaim the debate on child molestation before it’s too late. 

In addition to electing John McCain, who puts country first by keeping the fatherland safe for fathers that covet their neighbor’s children, let’s get Frank Luntz to do some happy-talk reframing of the issues.  “Sexual affair” is still too frightening a term for the pussified media set.  How about “Mentoring with Benefits”?  That has a wholesome ring to it.

Whatever term we decide on, we must do so with all due haste, my friends.  Another Defender of the Faith has been martyred just today:  

A former assemblyman and current parole-board member was busted last night on child-pornography and soliciting charges, officials said.

Chris Ortloff, 61, was arrested in a Plattsburgh-area motel room in a State Police sting at about 5 p.m.

Ortloff, who allegedly had arranged a date on the Internet with an underage victim he thought would provide sex, had child porn and what was described as “sex paraphernalia” in his possession, according to the officials.

They said Ortloff, a Republican who represented Plattsburgh, would likely face felony sex charges under state law, and could also be charged with violating federal anti-child pornography statutes.

Ortloff, married with two sons, could not be reached for comment.

“He was always the tough-on-crime guy in the Assembly who wanted to increase the criminal penalties for all kinds of sex crimes,” said a former associate.

Ortloff, once the Assembly’s assistant minority leader and ex-chairman of the Clinton County GOP, was named to the board by then-Gov. George Pataki in 2006. His term runs through 2012.

He’s one of 19 part-time, $102,000-a-year board members.

My favorite part is the tough on crime record, especially with respect to sex crimes.  

The GOP: The Party of Protesting Too Much.