So curv3ball ascended Mount Sinai in search of instruction from Shakira’s Ass.  Though he struggled to fix his gaze on the Lord, in all its terrible brilliance and glory, amidst the whirl and jiggle of divine gyration, the burning bush spoke.  A message was imparted to curv3ball and curv3ball was to take this message to the people:

Colombian superstar Shakira says Democrat Barack Obama is the best candidate for president, citing his leadership skills.

In a statement Saturday, the Grammy-winning pop artist said Obama can restore peace and the world’s confidence in the United States. Obama faces Republican presidential nominee John McCain in the Nov. 4 election.

Obama said he was honored to receive the singer’s endorsement. The Illinois senator praised Shakira as a role model for young Latinas in the U.S. and beyond.

Shakira encouraged U.S. Latinos to vote in November.

The United States “has a profound importance to me, and I think to the whole world as well,” she said.

So it was written, so it must be done.  Shield your eyes mortals:

(via the DCR Machine)