Some liberislamofascigayborters might be tempted to draw conclusions about John McCain’s foreign policy omniscience from the fact that McCain either:
1. Didn’t know that José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero was the Prime Minister of Spain (ed note: Bush calls him “Zappy.” Honest.);
2. Didn’t know that Spain was in Europe; or
3. Didn’t realize that Spain was a member of NATO and EU and that, as such, meeting with Spain’s Prime Minister would not require a review of Spain’s dedication to “humans rights, democracy and freedom.” Nor the tenor of the long-standing good relations between the US and…well, Spain.
Some hate-filled liebruhls will look at this and proclaim that, in truth, McCain’s supposed foreign policy expertise is all hype and little substance. That his knowledge is shallow, his judgment simplistic and his counsel bound to lead to disastrous results as it has in the past. Others will argue that McCain’s inability to recall simple facts about well known allies such as Spain is a sign that the early-to-middle stages of senility are setting in. He is, after all, incredibly oldy old old.
But those people would miss this essential point: On her one trip overseas, while on her way to a refueling stop in Ireland before heading on to Kuwait, Sarah Palin glanced out the window and saw Spain. With her own two eyes!
My friends, McCain’s gob-smacking ignorance is of no consequence. Sarah Palin knows more about Spain than anyone in the US of A.
THE EDITORS adds: McCain campaign confirms that Spain has joined the Axis of Evil. This is part of a cunning and sophisticated plan to win the War On Foreign. Or something.
May you live in stupid times.
CURV3BALL adds: I mean, Spain has troops in Afghanistan ferchrisakes. And McCain wants to cut off relations? Insult the country? Dis Spain’s moms?
War on Foreign indeed.
SIFU adds: Has nobody considered that he thought the guy said “zapateria” and wants to declare war on shoes?
CURV3BALL adds: Or perhaps Zappa Terrist, an obvious reference to Frank Zappa – Osama’s #3 I believe.
THE EDITORS: Look, Spaniardism is a gateway nationality: you start off Spanish, then you graduate to Mexicanism, and then it’s just a quick change of headgear an you’re an Ay-rab. Spain is the tactical pivot, Univision is the strategic pivot, Shakira’s ass is the prize. You couldn’t possibly understand.
First McCain calls his opponent a child molestor, now he declares war on the terrorists of Al con Queso. Perhaps he needs to stop taking campaign advice from the talk radio in GTA4.
CURV3BALL: Evidence of a coup in the works? McCain spokesman Randy Sheunemann refers to Prime Minister Zapatero as President Zapatero in the campaign’s official statement. Since we know these guys are foreign policy geniuses incapable of error or oversight, this looks like direct and incontrovertible evidence that McCain plans to overthrow Spain’s al-Qaeda-run parliamentary system, remaking it in our glorious image.
To which I say: Mas rapido, por favor.
THE EDITORS adds: To all those wiseasses who are pointing out that Spain isn’t in Latin America, I have one word: Pangea. Sure, it’s not there now, but John McCain learned geography before it was coopted by the liberal “anything goes” agenda of moral and continental drift. And he had a COOL PET DINOSAUR!!!!
September 18, 2008 at 8:42 am
McCain’s problem is that he can’t see Spain from Arizona. Otherwise, he’d know everything there is to know about it.
September 18, 2008 at 8:58 am
You people are way too reality based. If the empire wants Spain to be in South America, then Spain will be in South America. They’re probably only in Afghanistan for the opium hookup anyway. We can’t trust any nation still suffering from the liberal taint of Franco.
September 18, 2008 at 9:16 am
Look you liberal scum, for 5 years, John McCain didn’t have a Spain okay? He chose honor and duty over Spaining. So get a brain, morans!
September 18, 2008 at 9:36 am
What would the Spanish have to tell us about out current problems?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_II_of_Spain
“Inflation throughout Europe in the sixteenth century was a broad and complex phenomenon, with the flood of bullion from the Americas arguably being the main cause of it in Spain, along with population growth, and government spending[3][4]. Under Philip’s reign, Spain saw a fivefold increase in prices.[citation needed] Due to inflation and a high tax burden for Spanish manufacturers and merchants, Spanish industry was harmed and much of Spain’s wealth was spent on imported manufactured goods by an opulent, status-oriented aristocracy and wars. Increasingly the country became dependent on the revenues flowing in from the mercantile empire in the Americas, leading to Spain’s first bankruptcy (moratorium) in 1557 due to rising military costs. Dependent on sales taxes from Castile and the Netherlands, Spain’s tax base, was too narrow to support Philip’s plans. Philip became increasingly dependent on loans from foreign bankers, particularly in Genoa and Augsburg. By the end of his reign, interest payments on these loans alone accounted for 40% of state revenue.”
September 18, 2008 at 9:41 am
You know there’s a reason they say the rain in Spain falls mostly on the Amazon rain forest.
September 18, 2008 at 9:42 am
I thought it might have something to do with the years he spent in a POW camp after being captured during his assault on San Juan Hill with the Rough Riders.
(BECAUSE HE IS OLD)
September 18, 2008 at 9:42 am
Spain=Mexico=South America. Obviously we must enslave all mexican speaking peoples because they’re brown, and some of them have oil.
September 18, 2008 at 10:00 am
you guys are starting to sound like Clownhall only funny. at least, intentionally.
September 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
Overall this was a wonderful post, but you can’t imagine my disappointment when I followed the link and Shakira’s ass was nowhere to be found. Bad curv3ball.
September 18, 2008 at 10:18 am
Dude, I was just as crushed.
September 18, 2008 at 10:24 am
If they make a movie about this I hope they call it ¡Zapped! and dig up Aunt Esther to play Condoleezza Rice.
September 18, 2008 at 11:15 am
Dinosaurs aren’t real, guys. Even Sarah Palin knows that. Why do you have to resort to fairy tales to make your arguments?
September 18, 2008 at 11:17 am
Hey – the days of Franco are like yesterday to an old codger like McCain.
September 18, 2008 at 11:22 am
But if Spain’s in Latin America, shouldn’t they be speaking Latin?
Pax Americana, e pluribus unum,Habeas corpus in rectum.
Also, it doesn’t matter where Spain is anyway, since the world will end in 2013.
— bi, International Journal of Inactivism
September 18, 2008 at 11:47 am
the reconquista is alive and well. Spain is going to retake its lands in the New World, Viva!
Por los Catolicos, y este’ es, esse’.
September 18, 2008 at 11:52 am
and besides, bi-lil, from the founding of the Grecian Formulaic Empyre in 776 BC, whose mirror is the foundation of the Great Dragon Porn of the United Snakes of Amorica, in 1776 AD, because ‘a day is as a thousand years’, dontcha know, and one day is left to ‘rest’ anyway, we obviously have the fulfillment of the Babylonian Prophecy of the End of Thyme.
September 18, 2008 at 11:54 am
that would be the foundation of the Grecian Forumlaic Empyre of the Olympic ‘Games’ of course, which is what the Porn Dragons of the constellation Draco *do*, basically.
September 18, 2008 at 12:05 pm
[…] haw haw take on all of this. Here’s a piece, but they seem to be updating as they go, so clicky clicky: Some hate-filled liebruhls will look at this and proclaim that, in truth, McCain’s supposed […]
September 18, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I’m with Sifu, but only sorta. I think McCain wisely sensed a clever shoe related “gotcha” moment approaching, slyly eased his $500 loafers under the interviewer table, then denied everything.
September 18, 2008 at 12:58 pm
And he had a COOL PET DINOSAUR!!!!
which Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in.
September 18, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“spain, no I’m not in spain, I’m in bloomin agony that’s where I am!”
September 18, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I’m glad we have a candidate who will stand up to all the countries who hate us, like Spain, and not let silly things like whether they’re our ally or what continent they are on interfere with their decision making.
Because thinking about all those things would take too long, and it is just so important to have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink.
September 18, 2008 at 1:26 pm
The seminal work of Professor Goldberg has conclusively shown (and this latest kefuffle should only strengthen his point) that Spain has been a hotbed of leftism since 1939. Perhaps this is what got McCain confused.
September 18, 2008 at 1:26 pm
There’s all that Ay-rab influencin back when the Moors had Spain, perhaps that’s it.
Or more likely McCain just remembered crashing that Heinkel ‘while flyin bombing missions against the Abraham Lincoln brigade.
September 18, 2008 at 2:43 pm
McCain is just proving what sort of a maverick he is, by initiating a new Cold War against a NATO ally.
Iraq and Afghanistan aren’t going so hot, but I’m pretty sure we can take Spain.
September 18, 2008 at 2:44 pm
McCain wants to party like it’s 1898.
September 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Pangea
Do you mean ‘Pangaea’? Because Pangea is a kind of degenerative disease of the toenails*, and that doesn’t really fit your narrative.
* Not yet listed in medical textbooks.
September 18, 2008 at 4:45 pm
There’s all that Ay-rab influencin back when the Moors had Spain, perhaps that’s it.
You beat me to it.. I was trying to work in an “Al-Andalusional” or something…
September 18, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Well, you know Shakira’s ass is Lebanese-Colombian.
September 18, 2008 at 5:22 pm
This calls for a Youtube link to “Spanish Bums (on the Andalusia)”.
September 18, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Pope Urban… Crusades… Spain… Reconquista… East Coast/Midwestern Catholics… I just can’t put my finger on it, but it sure sounds like some ground-work is being laid for some awesome new adventures!
September 18, 2008 at 5:25 pm
29, 30: Cheeky.
September 18, 2008 at 8:28 pm
September 18, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I obscenity in the milk of your unfair implications. John McCain was in Spain fighting alongside hot communist babes with dykey haircuts, when Barack Obama’s ancestors were shrinking heads in Nigeria.
September 18, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Sorry, I mean Suriname.
September 18, 2008 at 11:24 pm
secondharmonic:
Also, Greek sounds just like Spanish… it all makes perfect sense now!
— bi, International Journal of Inactivism
September 18, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Further,
September 18, 2008 at 11:49 pm
I will release a new 70s era AC/DC video each day my demands are not met.
You have been warned.
September 18, 2008 at 11:55 pm
I warned you not to try to trace me.
September 19, 2008 at 12:56 am
Maybe when he was talking about nations “in the hemisphere” he was talking about the Northern?
September 19, 2008 at 8:30 am
McCain in Spain bombs mainly on the Plains
September 19, 2008 at 11:25 am
McCain obviously knows that since they EXPECT us to attack THE TERRORISTS in our war on terror, it’s to our obvious advantage to launch a surprise attack on OUR ALLIES, in a Doug Feith-ish sort of way.
You feelin’ me?
September 19, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I think the confusion comes from the fact that rock band Rage Against the Sheen uses Zapatero’s likeness on their t-shirts.
September 24, 2008 at 12:00 pm
FWIW, Zapatero is in fact the President of the Government of Spain. Wikipedia is my friend. Yes, it’s a Parliamentary system and he is the equivalent of Prime Minister, and they have a King as head of state, so it’s a little weird, but there you have it.
Getting the title right doesn’t really make up for McCain thinking they were talking about some neighboring ally of Hugo Chavez.
September 26, 2008 at 5:06 pm
[…] can tell she’s too smart to be a Republican because she knows Spain is our ally. Veep material, that one.) How to appeal to them? I suggest constant shameless lying, […]