There’s a metaphor in here somewhere if I could just stop laughing long enough to suss it out:
He met her in the bar of the swank hotel and invited her to his room. Once there, the woman fixed the drinks and told him to get undressed.
And that, the delegate to the Republican National Convention told police, was the last thing he remembered.
When he awoke, the woman was gone, as was more than $120,000 in money, jewelry and other belongings. […]
The haul included a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000, police said.
The victim was identified as Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, 29, of Denver, a single attorney and a fixture in Colorado Republican politics. He was one of the state’s delegates to the convention this month in St. Paul.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy:
In an interview filmed the afternoon of Sept. 3 and posted on the Web site LinkTV.org, Schwartz was candid about how he envisioned change under a McCain presidency.
“Less taxes and more war,” he said, smiling. He said the U.S. should “bomb the hell” out of Iran because the country threatens Israel.
Asked by the interviewer how America would pay for a military confrontation with Iran, he said the U.S. should take the country’s resources.
“We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money,” he said. “We deserve reimbursement.”
A few hours after the interview, an unknown woman helped herself to Schwartz’s resources.
Ladies and gentlemen, at the risk of getting all Descartastic on you, I take this as incontrovertible proof that there is a God.
(PS: No, I don’t normally revel in the misfortunes of others, and I don’t make an exception for “Republicans” generally speaking. Republicans are fine enough people. Why some of my best friends are…etc.
But there are limits. For someone who feels no shame in showing the pleasure he derives from the thought of “more wars” and bombing “the hell” out of people, and for someone who believes that we deserve reimbursement for invading a country for imperialistic reasons, sending a fifth of that country’s population adrift as refugees, causing the deaths of hundreds of thousands more and generally creating an unthinkable level of relentless tragedy…well, I cop to my weakness in giving in to spite. Or my appreciation of the occasional awesomeness in Karma’s doling out of lessons).