My friends, thanks to the crack reporting of the Editors, most of us are familiar with the tragic tale of one of the more famous Republican pedophiles of the last few years. Of course, I speak of Mark Foley – whose perfectly understandable and totally normal lust for underaged Congressional page-boys led to his tragic undoing at the hands of a vindictive EmmEssEmm. The cost to the Homeland was enormous: Foley was an ardent Republican warrior in such wars as: the War on Terror, the War on Islamofascists, the War on Homosexuals (not to be confused with same-sex child molestation) and the War on the War on Christmas.
Foley’s examplary career was undone mid-stride by an emboldened boy who, thanks to some liberal do-gooder, got it into his head that there was something inappropriate about Old Man Foley’s groping, leering and drooling. The media cried foul, and the country lost a great, great Republican ally. But Foley was not the only Republican felled by the nefarious plot to provide young children with the courage and resources to ruin perfectly healthy Republican Man-on-young child sexual relations.
No my friends, in recent years, at least 46 other Republican stalwarts have fallen prey to this culture of victimhood (or 47, but whose counting?). So it is time that we draw a line in the sand. We cannot afford to sacrifice another Republican leader to the perfidy of children who tell the authorities when they are touched inappropriately by Republican leaders. If we do that, the terrorists will have already won. Gays too most likely.
The first step in our War on Child Molestation Victims Speaking Out is to prevent legislation like that proposed by Barack “What About the Children Sniffle, Sniffle” Obama and his pantywaist liberal cronies who don’t realize that this country is going soft by shielding children from Grand Ole Pedophilia. Where are we supposed to get our sociopathic will to fight from?
My friends, I beseech you to join me in my effort to elect John McCain to the White House – a President that will truly put the interests of pedophiles ahead of whiney little children whose heads are filled with insidious liberal propaganda. John McCain: The only candidate willing to truly put country first by keeping experienced Republican pedophiles in office!