Well, it turns out that the Palin family has a long political association with America-hating fringe radicals.  Why am I not surprised?  And does anyone still wonder why so many real Americans hate Alaskans?

Here’s the dirty secret all of us know and no one will admit to. There are Alaskans, and then there are ICEHOLES.  THAT’S RIGHT.  I SAID IT.  I said what everyone is thinking but is too scared to say out loud.  In our world of strictly enforced PC orthodoxy, only Alaskans are allowed to pronounce the truth of it.  Except that Alaskans as a community refuse to publicly denounce the Iceholes in their midst!  And this is the single biggest obstacle to healing the interstate divide in this country.

Why won’t Alaskans, as a group, denounce these anti-American Iceholes?  Is it because these purportedly “peaceful” Northerners secretly agree with the hateful program of this so-called “radical fringe”?  We know that few Alaskans publicly support  treasonous sucession, but how do we know what they say to each other, in their hockey rinks and igloos, when no one else can listen?  Until all Alaskans forthrightly condemn Todd and Sarah Palin, and sign loyalty oaths, and allow the government to spy on them, without limits, at all times, Americans who love America will never accept them.

Perhaps, as Ben Smith claims, the traitorous Alaska Independence Party “isn’t all that fringy in Alaska.”  But this just proves my point! When it comes to matters of patriotism, Alaskans are extreme outliers.  Consider the responses to this simple question, weighting the Alaskan and American responses to these questions to reflect their proportions of the population:

Alaska sucks

polar bear nads

Alaska’s OK
Alaskan yes
Real American yes
Total yes
Alaskan no
American no
Total no

This means that a vast majority of Alaskans (100%) disagree with a solid majority of the overall population (60%) on the question of whether Alaska sucks polar bear nads, and a solid majority of Alaskans (100%) disagree with an overwhelming majority of the overall population (78%) on the question of whether Alaska’s OK. The mathematical truth about interstate relations that this reveals, then, is that Alaskans are extreme political outliers.  And who cares what extremists think?  Especially when their mouths are probably full of polar bear nads or whatever.

Anyone who disagrees with me is more concerned about fuzzy-headed rhetoric about “tolerance” and “diversity” than they are about protecting America, and could well mount a frosty fifth column during the coming War on Iceholes, and no doubt try to weaken our national resolve during the critically important invasion and open-ended occupation of Antarctica.  To victory!