Hugs for starters, naturally.  Then dim the lights.  Light the candles.  And get right to the fucking.  A bit rushed, I admit, but this ain’t the time for all-day, tantric, gal-pleasing foreplay (never my speciality if you must know).  But there’s a method to my lack of method.  I don’t suppose you’ve noticed, but we’re kind of being outbred by the moslems the mexicans the McCain campaign.  Given the comparative fuck rates, and the demographic implications that flow therefrom, it’s your solemn patriotic duty to copulate with as many rats as you can shake your stick at.  

I understand that there are some discerning types out there.  Some prudes if you will.  So if you’re having a problem finding that special someone of a rat to fuck, and if you’ve already cruised all the pick-up spots tagged by Teh Editors to no avail, here’s the latest in rat-humping match.coms.  Some mood music:

In McCain’s 1999 autobiography, Faith of My Fathers, he admitted to smoking cigarettes provided him by his captors. It’s reasonable to assume the North Vietnamese weren’t aware he was addicted to nicotine. Thus, if McCain, a two packs a day smoker, had initially refused the tobacco favor, nothing would’ve been said or inferred.

On the other hand, when he took that first puff, his captors knew instantly McCain had a weakness that could make him more vulnerable to disclosing military secrets during interrogations, which he did.

In return for medical treatment at a civilian hospital, a privilege never granted to other injured POWs, McCain reportedly told NVA interrogators the name of his aircraft carrier, how many Navy pilots had been lost, the number of planes in his flight formation, tactics used during bomb runs and the location of rescue ships in the Tonkin Gulf.

Because of the revelations which McCain repeated in propaganda radio broadcasts, the North Vietnamese contemptuously nicknamed him “Songbird.” 

On June 4, 1969, a U.S. wire service story headlined, “PW Songbird Is Pilot Son of Admiral,” described one of McCain’s radio recordings: “Hanoi has aired a broadcast in which the pilot son of the United States commander in the Pacific, Adm. John McCain, purportedly admits to having bombed civilian targets in North Vietnam and praises medical treatment he has received since being taken prisoner.”

During his six-week hospital stay and for months afterwards, McCain continued to cooperate with NVA interrogators. He made more radio broadcasts for the enemy and met with foreign dignitaries, enjoying hot tea, coffee and cigarettes in posh settings while back at the Hanoi Hilton and other internment camps, his fellow POWs struggled to stay alive.

In one case,while meeting with Cuban journalist Fernando Barral, McCain voluntarily spoke in Spanish, even though he was obligated as an American POW to be evasive during their conversation. Had McCain feigned ignorance of Barral’s native language, the meeting might not have lasted five minutes.

Not just treason, but he hit the fucking SAP button first!  A menage-a-trois of rat-fuckery!  If you can’t get laid here, you might as well pretend you’re saving your gift.

(wing man)