Toby Keith is not a racist, as there are no racists left in America. Ergo, this is not in the least bit racist:
Keith has trained his sights on Barack Obama, attacking him in racially tinged language that startled even the notoriously reactionary radio jock Glenn Beck. During Keith’s appearance on the July 30 broadcast of Beck’s show, he remarked, “I think the black people would say he [Obama] don’t talk, act or carry himself as a black person.”
“What does that even mean?” the audibly shocked Beck replied.
“Well, I don’t know what that means,” Keith drawled, “but I think that that’s what they would say. Even though the black society would pull for him I still think that they think in the back of their mind that the only reason he is in [the general election] is because he talks, acts and carries himself as a Caucasian.”
Ever notice that Obama sounds just like Toby Keith – right down to the perfect grammar, syntax and pronunciation. Clever ruse Barry.
August 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm
“What does that even mean?” the audibly shocked Beck replied.
“Well, I don’t know what that means,” Keith drawled, “but I think that that’s what they would say.”
You can’t beat this. “How do I know what it means? *I* don’t say it. I’m saying it’s something *they* would say. Ask *them*!”
It’s Groucho-Chico, without the self-awareness.
August 5, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Who is Toby Keith?
August 5, 2008 at 5:12 pm
That Toby Keith, he’s kind of an uppity redneck, innit he?
(o0)
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August 5, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Toby Keith knows how black folks think from his empathy classes. Or would think if they had a label pick them up for no apparent reason. Or if they’d ever had a role in Showboat, or Song of the South.
August 5, 2008 at 5:35 pm
[Obama] don’t talk, act or carry himself as a black person.
Wouldn’t those all be on the Pro side for Toby?
August 5, 2008 at 6:29 pm
This is such a shock to hear coming from Toby Keith, given his recent and fascinatingly brilliant article in The Journal of Modern Sub-Saharan Linguistics on the impacts of early colonialism on word root migration.
August 5, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Obama may walk upright and have opposable thumbs, but unlike John McCain, he hasn’t got the couth to sign his wife up for the toplesss and occassionally bottomless Miss Buffalo Chip beauty contest. Since the event features the use of bananas as props for sexual simulation, it goes without saying that Ms. Obama’s ancestral familiarity with bananas (does she have those white-type thumbs too?) would make her a natural.
So close but so far.
August 5, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Yeah, Toby, thass right, all the nigras think o’ him as a honky mofo.
He prolly sings bettah than you, too, ofay …
“I get no kick from champagne …”
August 5, 2008 at 8:36 pm
He’s just looking out for the really oppressed minority: Equine-Americans. He and Bill Walton have it TOUGH.
August 5, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Great Cthulhu –
“Uppity redneck”? I thought only blacks were uppity. Maybe you meant “presumptuous”?
Either way, it leads to the same cognitive dissonance that would occur if you called the Pantload “intelligent” (or, for that matter, Assrocket or Cap’n Ed or Pam Atlas or take-your-pick of their ilk. Actually, cognitive dissonance results if anything other than “fucking moron” is used to describe the aforementioned luminaries of the Reich Wing.)
August 5, 2008 at 9:56 pm
FUTK. 2003, 2008, and beyond.
August 5, 2008 at 9:57 pm
During Major Woody’s appearance on the July 30 broadcast of Beck’s show, he remarked, “I think sentient people would say he [Toby Keith] don’t talk, act or carry himself as a thinking person.”
“What does that even mean?” the audibly shocked Beck replied.
“Well, I don’t know what that means,” Major Woody drawled, “but I think that that’s what they would say. Even though people with the capacity for thought would pull for him I still think that they think in the back of their mind that even though he’s a moronic, simple-minded pig-ignorant fuck, somewhere deep in the malfunctioning nerve tissue that occupies the space where his brain should be, he tries to talk, act and carry himself as a human being. And fails miserably.”
August 5, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Toby Keith. Lol.
August 6, 2008 at 12:04 am
You see, yet again, that it is the Liberals (and black people) who are the real racists. Sure, they didn’t actually say that, and Toby doesn’t know what it means in any event, but still…his middle name’s Hussein, you know.
August 6, 2008 at 12:55 am
Toby Keith audibly shocked Glenn Beck. That’s just…unlikely.
August 6, 2008 at 4:50 am
Sometimes I wonder what Steven Hawking might think of the way Toby Keith acts, as a white person.
I haven’t really given any thought to the vice-versa on that one.
August 6, 2008 at 5:28 am
An “audibly shocked Beck” is a step in the right direction, but we shouldn’t rest until we have a “genitally shocked Beck.”
August 6, 2008 at 7:03 am
“Uppity redneck”? I thought only blacks were uppity. – SFAW
Was I the only one who learned about scalawags in my middle school history courses?
Scalawags (e.g. Bill Clinton) were also “uppity”. Some (though not all) rednecks are scalawags and many scalawags are rednecks.
But somethin’ tells me Toby Keith is no scalawag.
August 6, 2008 at 7:13 am
Glenn Beck feigns shock. It’s part of his schtick. Toby Keith says outrageous things in a way that seems to claim “hey, y’all were thinkin’ it, I just said it” it’s part of his schtick. They are both asshats.
August 6, 2008 at 9:46 am
Toby’s the SECOND-Most-Famousest Entertainer in Oklahoma. Right behind Garth Brooks. Some folks say that he prefers the arrangement.
I always harbored the theory that that mean-ass F-5 tornado that lashed through Moore, OK, in ’99 was looking for Toby’s house.
August 6, 2008 at 9:48 am
Toby’s like those folks you see talking about themselves as ‘painfully’ honest.
As long as the ‘pain’ is yours…
August 6, 2008 at 10:24 am
Interestingly enough, Toby Keith does talk, act and carry himself as a pig-ignorant motherfucker. Who’d’ve thunk it?
August 6, 2008 at 11:06 am
DAS –
Scalawag, from the American Heritage Dictionary:
1. (Informal) A reprobate; a rascal.
2. A white Southerner working for or supporting the federal government during Reconstruction.
Uppity, from same:
Taking liberties or assuming airs beyond one’s station; presumptuous: “was getting a little uppity and needed to be slapped down” (New York Times).
So, I guess I’m a dumbshit, because your “middle school history” reference seems to be a non sequitur.
And, Toby Keith probably supports the Federal Govt., as long as Chimperor and his kind are in power, so he may actually be a scalawag. (Except for that teensy thing about Reconstruction, of course).
August 6, 2008 at 11:27 am
If Toby ever met a black dude from England that would blow his _mind_. They don’t “talk black” at ALL!
This one time I had a Mexican neighbor who had a German Shepherd that understood Spanish!
The world is a crazy place.
August 6, 2008 at 11:30 am
what is http:///? Hell or something?
August 6, 2008 at 11:42 am
You had Cesar Milan for a neighbor? Get outta here!
August 6, 2008 at 11:47 am
A white Southerner working for or supporting the federal government during Reconstruction. – SFAW
And who were those white Southerners? And why did they support the federal government? And what where they hoping to get?
AFAIK, the scalawags were largely poor southern whites who felt screwed by the southern gentry. And no doubt that while part of the negative attitudes toward scalawags related to their cooperation with the hated Union army (*), some of the opposition was that they didn’t “know their place” and were trying to “rise beyond their station” to a station reserved previously for the gentry. This applies to Bill Clinton certainly (and look at how he was treated … c.f. the infamous quotation about him “trashing” DC when it was “not his place” to do so and note the use of the phrase “not his place”) … Toby Keith … I dunno …
Toby Keith, OTOH, supports a federal government more than happy to keep everyone in their place in the social hierarchy …
* why our “southern” president didn’t see the Iraqi insurgency coming a mile away is beyond me … he’s “from” (I know, he’s from CT, that’s why I put the quotes around the word “from”) one of those states that’s very proud of its own insurgency launched against a victorious “army of liberation”.
August 6, 2008 at 12:44 pm
sniflheim: released.
August 6, 2008 at 1:39 pm
[…] Toby Keith just called Barak Obama an Oreo! […]
August 6, 2008 at 1:42 pm
DAS –
OK, I see what you mean. Middle school is “way back in the before time” for me.
That being said: based on what I skimmed in Wikipedia (hey, I gotta start somewhere), it’s not clear to me that scalawags were necessarily po’ folk. So I guess I’ll agree to disagree or whatevah.
Re: Bush’s lack of foresight on the insurgency: good joke! When has Chimperor ever thought about *anything*? Other than his next beer, or when Condi can give him one of her “special de-briefings”, that is.
August 6, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Other than his next beer, or when Condi can give him one of her “special de-briefings”, that is. – SFAW
And thus SFAW wins the internets! My hat’s off to you! Thankfully for this computer keyboard and monitor, I’m not drinking coffee.
:)
August 6, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Seldom do The Editors misinterpret something this badly.
That shocked sound wasn’t glenn beck being shocked. That sound was glenn beck shooting a big load in his pants because toby keith said what he wanted to say. I can somewhat understand the confusion. Same sound, different reaction.
Just sayin.
August 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm
DAS –
Thank ‘ee kindly
August 6, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I enjoyed Koby Teeth’s song, “Weapons of Mass Destruction Related Program Activities”.
August 6, 2008 at 10:04 pm
There are more Democrats than Republicans in Oklahoma. Yet John McCain is outpolling Barack Obama by nearly thirty points here in the Sooner State.
The missing piece of the puzzle?
Toby Keith is an (all-too-typical) Oklahoma Democrat.
August 7, 2008 at 7:23 am
Seldom do The Editors misinterpret something this badly.
So true.