My Michelle defends FOX News referring to future first lady* Michelle Obama as “Obama’s Baby Mama”:
I did not write the caption and I was not aware of it when it ran (the Baltimore studio doesn’t have a monitor). I don’t know if the caption writer was making a lame attempt to be hip, clueless about the original etymology of the phrase, or both. But I do know that it was Michelle Obama herself who referred to Barack as her “baby’s daddy” and has used the phrase “baby daddy” to describe Barack while on the stump this year.
Huh. Well, here’s how I know John McCain addressed his wife** while on the stump in 1992:
At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.
So, logically, I guess news organizations have had 16 years to fairly refer to the Republican nominee as “Cindy’s Made-Up Cunt”. Or, maybe, just … maybe, people who have been married for years can be more familiar with each other than strangers can, something I figured out when I was 3. And that would make Michelle Malkin an embarrassing idiot, something most people figured out at about the same time.
* FULL DISCLOSURE: “Future First Lady” is my glam rock name.
** Not his first wife, obviously, the one who stayed true to him when he was in a POW camp. He dumped her when she had a car accident, perhaps on orders from Ho Chi Minh City. Cindy is the rich one he dumped her for. The one he really loves, and calls a “cunt”***.
*** “Cunt” is Viet Cong Secret Android Speak for “yummy sunshine love bunny”. Obviously, you’d have to have serious anger issues/software bugs to call your wife a “cunt” in English. That’s not the John McCain I know****.
**** Actually, it is*****.
***** In McCain’s defense, he says he was tired. He needed a nap, he says, in order to maintain the thin veneer of sanity he presents to the outside world. Such effort can be exhausting, as I’m sure you can imagine, particularly at the advanced age of however old he was when I was in high school. I’m not saying John McCain is old, mind you – I’m just saying that the Pyramids were built Thursday.******
****** Get the fuck off my lawn.
… UPDATE: Among Malkin’s unimpeachable sources – dudes on the internets. From the future. I must recruit them for my glam rock band.