Shiites are the same as Sunnis.  There’s nothing to be gained from trying to distinguish between the two.  All you need to know is that both are Moslems, terrorists and brown.  And scary.  To the extent that last part isn’t redundant. Which it is.

While one of Osama bin Laden’s stated goals was to lure us into a quagmire in Afghanistan that would drain our resources, tarnish our image and leave us severely weakened, Osama was very upset when we ended up in near identical situation in Iraq.  Why? you ask, displaying your ignorance for all to see.  Because it’s a different freakin’ country moonbats.  Hence, The Decider foiled all of Osama’s pretty plans (sorry buddy, no ringside seat to the show).  That’s why leaving Iraq would be a mistake, but more on that below.

Due to our steely resolve in Iraq, terrorists have been plagued by a massive existential crisis.  Distracted by Britney Spears, left to mope about impotently, grousing about the futility of blowin stuff up as long as US troops are still in Iraq.  My friends, they are a deflated bunch.  In addition to the general malaise brought on by having an infidel army occupying sacred Moslem lands, as long as we keep our troops in Iraq we deny the jihadists accessible targets.  We leave, and all that changes:  Osama breathes a sigh of relief, declares victory (with subsequent no-backs provisos) and ushers in the era of Maximum Terrorist Emboldening.  Something to ponder Defeatocrats.  

Moving along.  If we don’t stay in Iraq and ensure the longevity of an Iraqi government run by Shiite parties that were formed in Iran (including one that actually fought on Iran’s side in the Iran/Iraq war), then Iran’s influence will grow.  The only way to keep Iran’s influence at bay is to keep Iran’s proxies in power by sacrificing the lives of US soldiers.  That, my friends, is kung fu that you are incapable of grasping with your stubby little fingers.

Last but not least, most mere mortals are operating under the illusion that “Johm” is actually spelled “John.”  In fact, don’t even try to pronounce it.  You’ll only hurt yourself.  Fools.